Disclaimer: This is not Bai Ni writing this blog, so don’t get disappointed. I am not nearly as clever as my sister, & I’ve never written a blog before, but here’s my attempt.
-Bai Ni’s sister
Things I learned while in China:
#1—It’s probably delicious, so just shut-up & eat it
The food is incredible! Just make sure you know what the hell you’re ordering or you’ll end up with a chicken foot on your plate. Luckily, you normally order more than 1 dish, so hopefully one of them is dumplings. You’re set with a meal of dumplings.
that's a delicacy believe it or not
#2—Don’t eat next to a monkey
Apparently they’re filthy creatures that their owners only use to make money with. You can buy the monkey if you think you’re saving it (what are you going to do with a pet monkey?), but the monkey guy will just go buy another one. Don’t pet the monkey! It may be cute, but your sister may yell at you/the owner/the monkey. Oh, and you may get rabies.
#3—There are no safety regulations in China…
unless you want to go on a zip line while it’s drizzling…after you’ve taken a 4 hours bus ride just to go down the zip line. You may die on the way to the zip line (don’t take the tuck tuck, just pay extra for the cab, believe me) but God forbid you actually go down the zip line. Sigh.
#4—People stare. A lot.
Blondes take note: you will be stared at as if you have 3 heads. No worries. Just don’t couple it with a clevage enhancing shirt, ’cause then they may fall off their bicycles. Oh, and staring is not considered rude, but staring back can be.
#5—Chinese people love Americans
And they all think we love Obama as much as they do. They will also try to practice their English while talking to you. It’s probably best if you pretend to speak Spanish unless you like deciphering Chinglish.
#6—Customer service? What customer service?
Long story short, Jamie booked a flight for us from Shanghai to Xiamen (about an hour flight) & the airlines canceled our tickets & then turned around & said she canceled them. At first we thought they canceled our entire flight, but no, just our tickets. Of course we had to re-purchase the tickets at a much higher price. She could have argued, but there’s really no point. My sister, the China-loving communist that she is, said, at that juncture, “This is why China will never be better than America.” Ha! Score one for the capitalists!
#7—Chinese people LOVE Christmas
Almost as much as my friend Heather Walker, but not quite. Jamie’s washing machine plays “Jingle Bells”. The street sweeper plays “Here Comes Santa Clause”. I’m sure there’s a lot more that I didn’t get to see (I think Christmas in Shanghai would be freaking hilarious) since I was only there for a week.
#8—Chinese toddlers don’t wear diapers.
No, they’re not magically potty trained (the only way any child of mine will be), they wear “split pants” and then proceed to do their business in the street. Yup. I think the image below is just a perfect example of said activity:
I'm thinking a pair or running shorts like this would be handy
#9—You’ve never lived until you’ve ridden in a Shanghai cab
Therefore, you’ve never nearly died in a Shanghai cab…or taken out a million (nearly literally) pedestrians/bicyclists. My first day there I had to get out & walk because I nearly had a panic attack. You manage to get over it, mainly because walking in Shanghai is not any better.
#10 Chinese women aspire to look like Michael Jackson
If you want to look affluent in China, go mid-winter when your pasty & blinding white skin is at its peak. When we got a facial they told us they wouldn’t bleach our skin since we’re American. Seriously? Yes. That must be why Mom is always sending Jamie all her skin products from home….
All in all, I had a great time visiting my sister. I am so grateful for getting to see what most people will never get to see. I am even more grateful to be an American living in Tennessee. I admire my sister so much for doing something she loves & avoiding a real job at all costs. With that said, I was never so glad to get back home & stuff my face with biscuits from Cracker Barrel.
3 Comments
August 12, 2009 at 1:25 am
Oh Jesus, I can’t wait until I finally get over there and can share some tales of my own!
August 12, 2009 at 5:40 am
Great blog Maggie. It must run in the family.
November 3, 2009 at 4:50 am
Like sister, like sister. I tend to agree with Andy since I think you write as well as Jamie but use less curse words…………good for you. One potty-mouth in the family is enough………oops, forgot about your Mom (aka, my sister). My bad!